Fighting A Pornography Addiction: The First Steps

Wikipedia defines an addiction as: “A state in which the body relies on a substance for normal functioning and develops a physical dependence.” We’re all familiar with drug and alcohol addiction, but what happens when that ‘substance’ is pornography?  It’s more of a problem than many people realize.

Sexual stimulation- especially visual representations of sexual acts- draw a person to them on a very basic level. We’re genetically programmed to be intrigued by sex, because it ensures the survival of our species. In years past, however, there were certain buffers in place that helped cull the number of people that became obsessed with sex and porn. For example, it’s illegal to peek in your neighbor’s window. And socially, there is an embarrassment factor that keeps people away from purchasing many hardcore magazines or renting pornographic movies. But with the internet came a new age in technology; and in porn usage. The anonymity of online porn lowered restrictions and inhibitions- and the result has been a tenfold increase in the number of American adults with a serious pornography addiction.

If you feel that pornography is interfering with your real world relationships, or that your internet use has gotten out of control, then it’s time to take action towards getting your life back. Like any addiction, the decision to get help (and admitting that you have a problem) is the first step. Outlining a treatment plan is the next. While everyone’s struggle is individual, here are some ideas to help you on the road to recovery:

Begin with affirmation and inspiration: The addiction recovery process won’t be easy, and there may be times when you might want to get down on yourself. Just remember that like everything else in life, there are times when it will be two steps forward, and then one step back. Begin each day with an affirmation- remind yourself why you want to “quit”, and that you have the strength to do it. Then, surround yourself with inspiration. Set up pictures around your computer- of your wife, kids, mother, or anyone else that inspires you or lifts your spirits.

Accountability counts: The internet made you anonymous, and that made it easier to convince yourself that what you’re doing was “no big deal”. Taking the mask off is a good way to bring your actions to light. Start by moving the computer out of your bedroom or office, and putting it in a public part of your home. Then, choose a trusted friend or relative to help you be accountable for your actions. By emailing or faxing them a printout of all the web pages you visited at the end of the week, you force yourself to come face to face with the reality of your problem.  Better yet, with a managed service like My Internet Doorman, your activity can automatically be reported to one or more accountability partners – a real help for lots of people.

Filter yourself: A good Internet filter is a fantastic place to get help. It tackles the source of the problem (the actual accessibility of Internet porn) in a way that few other measures can. Not all Internet monitoring systems are created equal, however, and you need to do your homework before selecting one. The best filters for concerned adults are fully managed by outside sources, taking most of the work out of your hands. My Internet Doorman is one such filter that has helped a lot of people overcome a pornography problem. Fully customizable, it helps you set up guidelines that are specific to your needs, which is essential for long term success.

Strength in Numbers: In the struggle to overcome any addiction, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Other people- especially people that understand what you are going through, can become your best tool. Group meetings or therapy are a great starting point, and have helped many people overcome the urges of addiction. Additionally, you may want to join an online support group, where you can talk to others who are feeling the same thing you are, and whom you can reach out to when you need extra help.

Most importantly of all, begin to live your life again. Whether or not you realize it, an addiction to pornography takes away from the most important relationships in your life. So take your kids to the park, plan a romantic weekend with your special someone, or take your dog for a long walk. Keeping yourself busy- and happy- will help you with the recovery process, and remind you of how much you have to look forward to every morning.